It’s been quite a while since I have updated anything on this blog. It feels as though it has been several years though I see it has only been a few months.
A lot has been changing and happening here in our little world. I believe I have already mentioned us now raising meat rabbits. We feel incredibly blessed to have them as a part of our lives. Right now we sell most of them to other people looking for breeders to have of their own to raise meat for themselves and their families, but they also make wonderful pets. Most of ours are incredibly sweet, even if a bit skittish or not wanting to be handled much.
We’re currently dealing with a terrible ear mite problem, which I hope and pray will end soon.
We also now have a small aquaponics system going with several fish that dirty the water, which in turn the plants clean and it gets sent back to the fish. It took quite a while for it to get setup but with the Lord’s help Brandon got it done and others helped as well. I know Brandon really enjoys feeding the fish and spending time out there. And I really enjoy having the small herb garden we’ve started, along with strawberries, peanuts, and other various plants. Caterpillars got to all the kale though, so I’m not sure what we’ll do with that.
Spiritually things have been difficult on and off lately. I don’t believe we’ve ever dealt with this much resistance. It started to feel as though it was a snowball effect but today things are feeling improved.
We’re still trying to get the house cleaned out and get rid of what we don’t need. That process seems to take forever.
Not long ago I kept having trouble with feelings and thoughts of lust that I recognized were not my own. The Lord gave me a dream that dealt with a succubus spirit that came into the room I slept in. It would try to talk to me and entice me into allowing it into my life. I later realized that there was a masonic bible in the corner of the room it had entered in through in the dream. It was using the book as a means of a doorway to come in and try to attach itself to us or affect us. We burned that book and since then I haven’t noticed it’s return.
Removing of one spiritually cursed object did start to get others stirred up, however, and we have been dealing with more warfare because of this. Demons don’t want you to find out where they live or what is allowing them to live there, since you might get rid of it.
More recently the Lord gave me a dream concerning myself. He showed me that I had demons living in my subconscious that were effecting me in my sleep. Of course I learned how they were also effecting me throughout the day as well over the next week or so.
I wasn’t sure how to get rid of them and had no idea where the license came from that they had over or inside of me. I soon realized they had been a part of my life for a long time.
Not knowing how to get rid of them, Brandon reminded me what the Lord Jesus said when He mentioned that some would not come out but through fasting and prayer.
I was told by the Lord that I needed to fast for three days.
We fasted three days, not consecutively, and I felt immediate differences in what was happening inside my head. The first one to go seemed to never shut up and constantly kept throwing thoughts and words around in my head to keep me from thinking clearly. It was a constant distraction and incredibly argumentative to everything. It was wishy-washy and double-minded; one that caused me to have a lot of doubts throughout my life.
It was amazing to see how quiet things actually were once it was gone and I praise the Lord that it’s gone! It left at sundown.
The second one made me feel incredibly horrible the entire day of the fast. It felt like such strong oppression that I almost felt I couldn’t move or do much of anything. It too left at sundown and I was so relieved.
The third I could feel around and made me feel completely disconnected from the Lord. I felt as if even my prayers weren’t getting out to the Lord, and I know that probably sounds ridiculous. Having any sort of spiritual disconnection is a terrible feeling, one that I hate above most other things. I couldn’t hear, perceive, or feel much of anything besides numbness. This one did not leave at sundown that I could tell.
I knew that since it had not left that I needed to fast for three consecutive days. The entire thing would not have felt so bad except for feeling as if I had complete separation from God.
I felt incredibly discouraged and these lying spirits were constantly trying to cause me to believe that it would be that way forever. That everyday I woke up things would be exactly the same; that everyday was exactly the same and there was no hope for a future.
Of course that’s a lie.
The Lord had Uncle Shawn call me sometime during the fast and he encouraged me. He told me he believed that I was on the right track and that despite what it feels like I was moving forward and not stuck. I was so thankful for that and I praise the Lord for that encouragement. I had been feeling stuck for quite some time and it’s incredibly easy to get caught up in other things.
The fast finally ended and at the time I wish I could say I felt this demon leave me like I did the other two, but I did not. I was then under some sort of oppression that seemed to be coming from the house we are staying in now so I felt about the same. It’s taken a while for things to get back to where they probably should be, even despite the demons that live around here. I know that they wouldn’t be causing as many problems as they do if what we were doing wasn’t some sort of threat for them here. That, I can say.
There’s still plenty to be done and finish up here and I’m not sure when I will write again. I’ll write as the Lord leads me to do so.
We still really miss Cris and think about him and pray for him almost constantly. We love him so much. I hope he’s okay and wish he’d come back.
He’s my family and my friend.